Self Talk can Change Me
When I use negative language, I end up focusing on actions I don’t want rather than the outcome I desire. I create the opposite effect of my intent. When I repeat to myself, “I don’t want to waste time”, I’ve verbally wandered into fresh and new time wasting actions. I feel comforted that I quit wasting time on that previous action, but there are countless options to lose time. There are, however, only a select few actions in which I pursue the outcome I desire.
Who could assume that the exact opposite of what I’m trying not to be is what I will become. That’s not the case. All I’m doing is dedicating one particular arena of wasting time that I will avoid while it’s in my face. Chances have it, I’ll deflect from that to some other negative action, because negative reaction is the altar upon which I’ve sacrificed my focus.
Why definitions matter
Even though reviewing a prospect’s website may be the actual activity I want to accomplish, it shouldn’t be the scheduled task. It lacks purpose. A task list is made up of time consuming assignments, unless the end result gives purpose to activity. “Look up Bob’s company” is a task, but “Learn Bob’s personality for closing appointment” is associated with a larger purpose—connected to an end result—an outcome based action of which I am highly and personally invested.
I over-assume what I can get done in one year, and under estimate what I can get done in three years.
It’s incredible that during the four decades that grew the diet industry, our culture has gone from seeing Marilyn Monroe as a sex symbol to having an “obesity epidemic”. Is it any wonder that our society’s magazine cover models require physically impossible computers alteration, while the general public is dying from obesity? This may have created a multi-billion dollar industry, but it rivals big tobacco for the number of deaths it tallies. Joe Camel used to be cool, and the Marlboro Man used to be sexy.
Faith that a temporary change in action can create a long term result severs our expectations from reality.